Friends

Friendship can be a rocky one to ride. I think anyone who has been through the teenage years knows how difficult it can be, honestly especially when half the time when you are hugging your best friend good bye who are pulling the knife out of your back as you are walking away! Ok maybe I’m being a tad over dramatic, but friendship can be tricky..especially if you are a teenager and if you have a sibling with a disability it can be even more difficult. I remember having friends in school who would openly imitate that Timmy kid from South Park knowing full well i had a brother with autism. So friends is always an area of interest for me whenever i meet another sibling, especially if they are in their teenage years,soo how are your friends with it?

I have gotton several answers to this question, verging to  they love my sister, they feel sorry for me, they don’t like coming to my house or i don’t like bringing them home .It honestly makes me feel a little bit sad just typing this.

For me, how my friends treat my brother is basically make or break with my friendship. And i have always been quite lucky. I am absolutely so protective of my brother and probably take offence maybe a bit easily sometimes. But i openly admit...if anyone makes a joke at someone with autism in my admittedly very bias eyes they are tainted forever.

 One memorable instance happened at my house when i was 18. I was about to go out and two friends were over. Friend 1 knew and had known for a few years that i had a brother with autism, friend 2 didn’t know so told her that day,”hey my brother has this thing called autism so if he stares at you or acts a little different don’t worry”, as was my way if introducing people to what was so normal to me back then. Interestingly Friend 1 was so uncomfortable - her body posture actually tightened when my brother came up to introduce himself. It was as if my brother had a flashing autism sign above his head. That was all she could see. Friend 2 acted completely normal chatted away with him and told me how much she was looking forward to meeting him again the next day. I think you can guess the one I’m still friends withJ

Now that I’m in my twenties, i still tell people that i have a brother with autism before they come to my house. Although its different as I do find there is more awareness of autism now and obviously how i explain it is a little differentJ However, i am so lucky to have wonderful people in my life now who love my brother. I can’t explain how lovely it feels to see my friends excited when they see my brother and make such an effort to talk to him. My two bestest friends in the world (they know who they are) have an amazing relationship with my brother and i don’t think they know just how much it means to me. It is so nice when people who spend time with my brother see him for who he is and not some label or in some cases flashing signs they may see over their head.

This blog post probably is not the best for advice for other siblings as it is really my opinion on a very personal subject. But i suppose every person who meeting your brother or sister whether they react in a positive or a negative way at least they are being introduced to autism and the person behind the label whether they can see past it or not...it may just let them think differently about people. And if they still don’t get it,,..screw them! Do you really want ignorance in your life anyway?